Fumanchu: The Human Torch and Spider-Man?

Fumanchu: I thought it was a very, very well done, but very, very cruel comic book.

Peblee: Yeah, I agree with you. I thought it was really well detailed, like fully done, like a movie.

Fumanchu: It was almost like a graphic novel.

Peblee: Yeah, like the first part of a graphic novel – which it will be in about five months.

Fumanchu: I have to say right now that I love the cover because right there X-23 looks just like Wolverine - especially her expression.

Peblee: She has a man-grimace.

Fumanchu: She has her father’s grimace.

Peblee: I love the art in this book, I think it’s really, really good. I like the inks. I think the detail is perfect. And the colors are great, especially the difference between the past and the present. I like that the past wasn’t blurry, or black and white.

Fumanchu: I agree. The detail is excellent on every page.

Peblee: Go to page 6. I’m going to tell you why Zander failed with this experiment.

Fumanchu: Because that guy’s abdomen is ripped open?

Peblee: Yeah, because he put a whoppin’ crater in the guy’s stomach. He would have a hard time making it, except as Cavernous Hole-Belly Man.

Fumanchu: I wonder if they are trying to coat his small intestine with adamantium? Because, I don’t think it’s going to work.

Peblee: There’s no success when you’re working like that. “Zander, he’s been down for forty minutes. Let it go son.” Isn’t the time, like, ten minutes then you’re all the way dead?

Fumanchu: I think it’s like five. All I have to say is it was nice of Billy Tan (pencils) to cover up that dude’s goods with the light.

Peblee: I’m glad Jennifer Connolly accepted the role as Dr. Kinney.

Fumanchu: There are other star appearances, as well. Do me a favor. Go to the page on the other side of the “Alien vs. Predator” ad. Now, on the page opposite of that you will notice that Dilbert’s friend Wally is trying to kill Jennifer Connolly and he is being held back by none other than John Cleese.

Peblee: John Cleese, and, uh, who is that guy with the red glasses?

Fumanchu: Is that Cyclops?

Peblee: No, it must be Matt Murdoc….Hey did you notice and get hacked off by the zillion ads in this book?

Fumanchu: Well I think that this is a very good comic book, and obviously Marvel knew that it was, so they could pitch it that way. You know, get a lot of people interested in advertising. Also, I have to say that when Old-Man Rice gets killed at the beginning they have the best sound effect I have ever seen: CHURK

Peblee: You know…the last thing that man saw was Logan’s goods.

Fumanchu: Logan’s goods in the snowy cold.

Peblee: On that note, let’s turn to our second comic: Majestic. Fu, what did you think?

Fumanchu: I think we never even said anything about the first book.

Peblee: We can always go back, or just write your own review. So what did you think about Majestic?

Fumanchu: I thought it was underrated, and one of Jim Carey’s best performances.

Peblee: Yes, but the story was a bit long, unlike the story in Majestic the comic book. I think the story got lost between space-time dimensions.

Fumanchu: I think it got lost in the sound effects. Because that seems to be what the whole comic is made of.

Peblee: I have to say that I loved the scenes of empty DC and empty Time Square. Way cool. The movement is excellent in the fight scenes. The faces however are inconsistent except Eradicators.

Fumanchu: That’s because he has no face.

Peblee: Maybe one artist drew everything, and then let everyone at the WildStorm office have a turn drawing faces. Speaking of difference, I like Superman with the Caesar-due, the hair swept forward with a curl instead of slicked back.

Fumanchu: Yeah, Render unto Superman what is Superman’s.

Peblee: Yeah….I’m not going to type that up.

Fumanchu: Oh…you’re an a-hole.

Peblee: This is good art.

Fumanchu: I thought the fighting was very exciting: SKRAAAANCH

Peblee: THH THOOOOOOOM

Fumanchu: I think Eradicator is cooler than Superman, himself.

Peblee: You know we’re going to have to admit to not knowing anything about Majestic or Eradicator.

Fumanchu: Or Superman. Let me go on record as saying that the reason I know nothing about Superman is that I never was interested in reading about a guy that is so powerful that nothing can hurt him. Not only is he excessively powerful, but I hate that his powers always vary; like one time he can lift a huge building, no problem; but the next he has trouble holding up a train-car. But I do like the scene when his curl disappears.

Peblee: WHAT? Explain yourself.

Fumanchu: Go to the scene in the secret base in Mt. Rushmore. Eradicator says something like the next dimensional hopping opportunity won’t come around for the next 50 some years. Then Sups says, “Well, then that’s what it has to be…” but Majestic interrupts. When he says “NO” Supes' curl disappears. I think when ever he gets scared or confused it must retreat inside his skull.

Peblee: Now, I want you to go to the page where the alien-robot things are all over Mt Rushmore. You see that? That’s exactly what my kitchen looks like, except with ants.

Fumanchu: Now turn to the next page and look at Superman. That’s what I look like, except with pants. And let me say that at the end Majestic has really got his work cut out for him, and no amount of sound effects are gonna beat that hord of bug-things.

Peblee: I think you underestimate the power of the SKRUUUUUUUTCH!

Peblee: Well let’s talk about our third comic: Spider-Man/Human Torch

Fumanchu: …

Peblee: …

Peblee: Well, this is definitely an inane discussion.

Fumanchu: Yeah, I don’t think we covered anything important. I guess that’s okay…

Peblee: Yeah…to bad nothing good came out this week.

Fumanchu: This is going to be a slow week.