Breach 3

If you are not following this series then I suggest you follow this recipe: Go to your mirror. Look at yourself for a moment. Now, make mean eyes with your eyebrows all angling downward. Yeah. You should be. Now, look over at your toilet. WITHOUT cleaning it, bend over at the waste, bending your knees gently as you lower yourself (NOTE: you may want to locate the flushing handle on your way down). Place your head down into the water. If at all possible, make sure your nose gets that full-effect of water-burn. Flush the toilet repeatedly. Stand up slowly, but DO NOT get a towel. Look back in the mirror. The water all over your face and shirt are the representation of tears (unless you are already crying, in which case your tears will represent your tears) cried over the ridiculous nature of your person. Repeat this process until you are properly chagrinned.

As predicted, the JLA has taken notice of the new bi-dimensional personality. With the incredible powers we’ve seen displayed by Zanetti, it was only a matter of time before Superman, Batman, and rest found out about this new unstable nuclear striation of a man. Naturally, this means that next issue will see the JLA and Breach meeting for the first time, and they will no doubt have a brawl which will probably decide the course for this new man o’power. Will he be good or awesome? Only god knows, and by god I mean Bob Harras, the writer of this sad and off-kilter comic.

But, the nare-do-wells have their hand in the nuclear mass of muscles as well. Led by a clever and beautiful psycho hose beast, the legions of KOBRA are also intrigued by the high-powered deeds of the angry, unstable, yet so potentially grillable Breach.

The really sad side of this story is the appearance of Zanetti’s son who, along with Zanetti’s wife and Zanetti’s semblance of humanity, was hijacked by Zanetti’s best friend twenty-some years ago. Now face to face with his son, the unstable protagonist is driven more raving, as he struggles to be both the man he was and the creature from another dimension by which he is possessed.

Anyway, didn’t you ever wonder what it would be like if that anatomy drawing on the posters in your science class tore himself off of the wall and ventured to South Africa to destroy a hundred-foot wavy colored snow globe? Yeah. Me too. That’s why I was so pleased with Breach #3.

-Peblee