Inane Discussion Fourteen:

"Told You We'd Get to It!"

Peblee: So, a girl got her face sucked and Thor got his life, armor, and dignity sucked, and all of it sucked about as much as the art in both of these books. I know Marvel rushes people, but come on, Ultimates 2 is their biggest seller, and it doesn’t rely on the omnipresence of Wolverine, so why rush Brian Hitch?! He is a pretty good artist, but this stuff has reached the height of sketchy.

Fumanchu: Yes, good art ruined b over crowding and confusing movement, it really is a shame. Though Mnemovore’s art was pretty sketcho, it is a really interesting and creepy book. You really get a feel for the frustration and fear of memory loss, and that little squidly monster was weird.

Peblee: Yeah it was weird, but why was it? And, why was it attacking Olympians? And why a snowboarder? Isn’t hat a little too “cool”? It’s like trying to appeal to sports fans, punk rock-fringe sporters, and science fiction loving baseball card collectors. I don’t like sports in my comics. I never liked stats, and never have understood what exactly counts as an RBI, I mean why count hits that lead to nothing? Hits should only count if they accomplish something. I can’t wait. Next its going to be a comic about Tony Hawks best friend Slick Dude. He will travel through time o beat the space invaders on a half pipe to wrest the control of earth away from the invaders.

Fumanchu: Only to find that it was in another dimension in which Tony Hawk is dead and so he must raise him from the dead. As for snowboarding, I think that they were just trying to think of a cool way to receive a head injury.

Peblee: They could have used a guy resurrecting from the dead, only to bump his head hard on the side of the coffin. Then when his long lost love, who is really old now, decides she wants to relive their fabled love, she would perform a squid dance, move her soul to the body of a soulless young buxom girl (all of which are soulless) and then the dark squidily doo would come to the coffin and suck the memories out of the newly injured and resurrected Slick Dude, only to place his memories into the body of a young soulless buxom girl. Now, the two are forced to reevaluate their feelings. Is love stronger than a lifetime of heterosexuality? Will their past experiences allow them to find the true love they felt in the arms of another as unintelligent and flirty as they both now are? That sounds better than snowboarding to me.

Fumanchu: Actually, that sounds like a blockbuster right there, though it has absolutely nothing to do with the comic. That’s the kind of brilliant excuse-for-lesbianism thinking that Top Cow needs right now.

Peblee: What comics were we talking about?

Fumanchu: The kind involving two nubile, buxom, young women with a frustrating struggle between society and morals, and a past-life love affair and the complex hormones of their new bodies… What the hell? I don’t remember either.

Peblee: Well, I bet it involved Thor being right about everything, and Nick Furry being as crooked as our soon to debut comic “Love in the Time of Nubilescence.” Anyway, it has been like four weeks since I read them, and all I really remember was that I didn’t really love Mnemevore, though it wasn’t bad.

Fumanchu: I would say the same for The Ultimates 2 #5, but neither of them are anywhere near as good as LTN.

Peblee: You are right. LTN is going to be the hottest in family entertainment. I can hardly wait.

Fumanchu: I’m already picturing it in my mind… constantly.

Peblee: I have to go…to bed…now.

Fumanchu: I can’t hear you! I’m busy in here!